As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault in adulthood I can assure you that you will be heard and you will be believed.  It is common for survivors of sexual abuse / assault to describe that they often find that they disassociate their mind from their body.  This helps to protect themselves from the trauma they are experiencing and can almost be viewed as an out-of-body experience.  Whilst this is an excellent way for the body to minimise damage and to aid self-preservation at the time, it can lead to other issues in the future.  However, once this process is learned it can be hard to let go of and the associated emotions will often cause anger, anxiety, self-harm, difficulty with alcohol or substance abuse and feelings can become muted or dulled with emotional outbursts that are difficult to understand especially if these are recurring years after the initial trauma.